please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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