I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize