Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
