NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
