google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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