I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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