gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
