why didn't you poke me back
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
