He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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