last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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