did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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