Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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