you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
