I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
