I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
