Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
