whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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