will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
