I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
