Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize