Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
