we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
two words: eviction party
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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