Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
