Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
