Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize