I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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