Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Someone came in the potted fern
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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