She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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