I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
