it's like iHOP with fire
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Two words: nipple clamps
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