but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize