the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
