terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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