I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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