just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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