I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I think i got beer on your cat.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
