my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
