you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
