thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize