I'm gonna have a badass scar
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let's get the cat blown out
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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