okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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