yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
