i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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