Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
