I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
