Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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