If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
