I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
