Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
