Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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