i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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