I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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