From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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