I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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