I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
