What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
