Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
