Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
