Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize