She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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