she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
