Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
