Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
