I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sorry about my life...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
