i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize