Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
