Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
