ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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