my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
