Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
