Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize