did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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