it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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