Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
