hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
