i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
